Lori // Journal // April 15, 2000

Wow, we could have a baby tomorrow. Itís strange that after all this time, I still wonder if I am ready for this. I know that I will be fine being a mom (I hope), but I wonder if I will have the strength to get through labor and delivery. I guess that millions of women do it, but can I? Aside from that, being scheduled to deliver is very strange. On Friday, we thought that I would be induced, but no, too many other women were in true labor so my doctor said to call Sunday morning. Thatís tomorrow. She said that we could do it then if labor and delivery wasnít as busy. Kind of like setting up an appointment to get your hair cut but then, oops, they overbooked the salon and youíll have to come back another day. This is a great cause of anxiety for me. I have been thinking of nothing else but how to prepare for this baby. I have been thinking, ĎO.K., in the morning we will be off to the hospital and have a baby by the eveningí. Like buying a new couch or marinating a steak for an afternoon BBQ. But, that may not happen and we may be told that itís too busy and we should wait untilÖcould it be possible that I am the only woman who carries forever? So, if this should be the last night before the baby is born, than I better get a great nightís sleep (will the anxiety haunt my dreams?).



But, if this isnít the last night before baby, then Iíll do the whole thing again tomorrow and the next day until she arrives. Itís fair to say that I will be relieved when this whole birthing process is over and we have a wee one in our arms..



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